This paper examines the lessons to be learnt from the organ retention controversy in the Republic of Ireland. The paper emphasises the importance of good communication between clinicians and families of deceased persons and a move away from a medical culture based on paternalism to a partnership approach between clinicians and patients based on mutual trust and understanding. A model of authorisation rather than consent is proposed as the way forward for dealing with the difficult and traumatic experience of asking families for permission to carry out a post mortem examination on their deceased child.