This paper presents an ethnographic study exploring the role of props and music in dementia care in order to engage participants and inform design. Our findings extend current understandings of participation to reveal that a more nuanced view of participation is required when designing in the dementia context. Our work suggests that participation in music sessions for people with dementia is about touch and intimacy, connection via movement, shifting roles, materiality and using props to disengage. We discuss these themes, their implications for Experience-Centered Design and offer a set of future directions in designing for and with people with dementia that underpin the participation of people with dementia in a meaningful and enriching way.