This paper explores how young people (aged 18–24 years) in Ireland attribute young men's sexual harassment and violence against women both to the situational demands of what we call ‘heteromasculine homosociality’ and young men's negotiation of role taking with women. Interpreting young people's explanations for sexual violence, the paper argues that through different forms of sexual harassment and violence, women are (ab)used to cement the heterosexual bonds between men. The argument is explored by drawing on young people's explanations of three forms of sexual harassment and violence: verbal violence, unwanted sexual touching and assault and image-based sexual abuse. The data comes from 28 interviews with young people as part of a European-funded research study that aims to explore both the discourses that young people use in their understandings of gender and violence against women and how young men may be supported in combatting violence against women. Among other implications, we suggest that as well as deconstructing attitudes towards women, prevention work and interventions with men must also focus on men's beliefs about the normative basis for masculine status and belonging between men.